


Big Bad Wolf

by brotherfuckers



Series: Striderclan [76]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Little Striders, Lost children, Protective Striders, Yelling, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 09:51:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotherfuckers/pseuds/brotherfuckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The brats need some new school clothes for the upcoming school year and what better place to get them but the mall, but the mall is a big scary place for both the kids and the guardian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Bad Wolf

It was that time of year again. The long hot days of summer were coming to a close and the early morning hassles of fall were about to begin. But before they could, the brats needed all new clothes and school supplies specified out on a long, multiple paged list helpfully supplied by their teachers. Bro frowns at all of the items that he’d be buying two over because of course the brats wouldn’t be in the same classroom and therefore couldn’t share the supplies; no, that would be too easy. And they’d need entirely new outfits because of the couple inch growth spurt that they achieved over the summer. Bro knew it was a bad idea to keep feeding them so much, but he couldn’t fight the puppy eyed looks when they’d get grumbly tummies.

Bro shook his head at the fact he just thought those words. Apparently thinking baby talk was a side effect of raising kids even if they weren’t his own.

“C’mon, shoes on, ya brats. We’re goin’ out. Gotta get y’all some cool new threads. Don’t forget your shades, li’l dudes. Sun’s still bright out. That’s still a thing. C’mon.”

Bro flashstepped around the apartment pushing the boys around to get them ready, pausing only long enough to get all four shoes tied (while making a mental note to get D to teach them if he couldn’t find any Velcro sneakers). It only took ten more minutes to get the three of them ready to head out the door with shades on, shoes on, hair brushed, clothes somewhat not wrinkled and miraculously unstained, and list in hand. It took another five minutes for Bro to find the car keys while the boys waited and whined by the front door. And then another ten minutes to strap them into the car. Thank god for kangaroo seats.

Bro blasted the kid-friendly, Mom-and-D-approved music as he drove to the mall, ignoring any requests for food or apple juice as he knew he fed them earlier today, they couldn’t possibly be hungry again.

When the mall loomed up on the horizon, the boys quieted down and stared out in awe. Bro never understood why because it’s just a mall. Just a big building with too many people bumping into him because they were too caught up in their material pursuit of happiness as if that new pair of three hundred dollar pair of shoes could make them happy. But hey, Bro wasn’t complaining about the silence in the backseat. In fact, if the boys behaved throughout the shopping maybe Bro would take them to the Discovery store (and inevitably buy Dave another dino bone set and Dirk another knex machine (and Bro would get himself some neat toy as well)).

Bro made sure to cross the parking lot with a small hand in each of his hands, keeping a sharp eye on any and all moving traffic. But the path across the blacktop went easy, so then Bro only had to navigate the crowds. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. His grip on the boys tightened as he started forward. All three noses twitched as they ducked through the perfume section until they broke out into the open mall area. Bro breathed a little better with all the space available. Dirk and Dave tugged him over to the map and started talking to each other about which stores they wanted to go to, pointedly looking at the Discovery store without actually mentioning it. Bro smirks at that but directs them towards the clothing stores first.

He finally let go of the boys hands (shoving down the fluttering in his guts) and let them run a little bit ahead. They knew better than to go too far and to stay within Bro’s line of sight. His heart catches as they ducked into the first store on their list, but he flashstepped to right behind them less than a second later.

“Alright brats, let’s hit up the sale section.” He guided them to the back corner with all of the bright signs with contrasting percentage signs everywhere. Bro kept track of their giggles as he started pawing through the racks, pulling off certain pieces and holding them up to one brother or the other for their opinion. He always enjoyed the grimaces he got when he purposefully grabbed a hideous design or color but actually had to give credit for their fashion choice as they decided between the decent options. Bro made sure to grab their current size as well as a size up, especially for the cooler options.

As soon as his arm started to hurt, he dragged them over to the dressing room and started the elimination process which Bro compared to a ballet as he stripped one kid and dressed the other while folding the options into keep or discard based on how they fit and looked and then price. All three brothers were almost fed up with each other by the time they got through the initial stack with a handful of successful outfits. Bro felt bad at the pile he left behind as he took the other to the checkout, but then he handed over his credit card and he doesn’t feel as bad.

With two new bags in hand, he followed the twins out and to the next store where the process repeated itself again. Bro swore he could feel the credit card getting lighter as they burned through his money. The bags sure weren’t getting lighter. Bro daydreamed about methods to strap the bags to the two potential sherpas skipping along in front of him as he tried to dodge the crowd, only bumping into one or two people as they headed to the next store.

This one seemed to be a treasure trove of sales and t-shirts. Bro was wary of all of the printed tees but as he read the sign the more he felt like they were giving away the store. He’d be walking out of here with a bag of loot. He quickly did the math in his head and even a full bag, like trash bag size wouldn’t be half of what he already spent. He’d be legally robbing them. Sweet.

“Oi, brats. Start looking for shirts ya want,” Bro called out as he shifted all the bags to one arm. “But don’t make a mess. These people don’t get paid enough to deal with your damage. I’m not paid enough to deal with ya,” he adds underneath his breath.

Dave and Dirk took to the green light with gusto. They started going through the nearest rack and taking turns reading shirts to each other for giggles. Bro left them to their own devices as he went through another rack.

There were a couple funny ones that he read and passed on but then a purple one caught his attention with half of the message under the fold. He lifted it up and smirked at the white lettering “[Always be yourself unless you can be a unicorn then always be a unicorn](http://img1.etsystatic.com/021/2/7099748/il_340x270.493198185_p3ix.jpg)” before folding it and putting it back. The next one that called for his hand was a [pixelated Batman symbol](http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.15336227.3812/fig,black,mens,ffffff.u1.jpg). He was about to ask Dirk if he wanted this one when he overheard Dave saying,

“I like the crown! I’d be a great pretty princess!”

Bro leaned around the rack and saw Dave holding a white shirt with pink lettering declaring [Princess](http://rlv.zcache.com/pretty_princess_t_shirt-raef5730f13ca4a4aab9f8e50911d9089_804gs_512.jpg) with a curly crown hanging off the first letter. Bro just shook his head and let Dirk retort with, “If you get to be the princess then I am the prince.”

The next cute shirt had the phrase “[It’s Mom’s way or the highway](http://c3.diapers.com/images/products/p/OS/OS-5297_1z.jpg)” which would be very applicable for Bro and D and their sisters but Bro would want to switch it to “Bro’s way” before sticking the twins into it. He added a shirt with [Miso Cute](http://i1.cpcache.com/product/723520424/miso_cute_kids_all_over_print_tshirt.jpg?color=White&height=460&width=460&qv=90) on it but passed over the cliche [Spit Fire](http://image.rakuten.co.jp/rds/cabinet/kids01/spitfire-tee01_1.jpg) ones. Definitely gonna get the [R2D2](http://www.fleurtygirl.net/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/300x452/0dc2d03fe217f8c83829496872af24a0/r/o/robotkids.jpg) one and he nearly laughed out loud as he add the “[Hedgehogs: Why don’t they just share the hedge? (no)](http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/h/e/hedgehogsshare_fullpic_artwork_1.jpg)” shirt. He was tempted by the [shirt with the hand gripping the sides](http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mRlXNfUxzWtMFbV4X9s4ROQ.jpg), and then went ahead and added it because of the sale with a ‘why not’ finesse. Based on Dirk’s ‘experiments’ on the VCR player and various puppets Bro’s left lying around, he grabbed a shirt with the saying “[I’m an engineer; to save time just assume I’m never wrong](http://img1.etsystatic.com/020/2/7099748/il_340x270.493211303_ggia.jpg)” with visions of the future.

And then Bro came across the holy grail of t-shirts. Okay, maybe that was a bit high but it’s one that he was definitely getting himself. It looked like an edited “I <3 NY” shirt where the heart has be scratched down to the shape of two letters ‘R’ and ‘O’ so that the whole thing now spells [irony](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/54/Ironymens_01.jpg). Bro picked it up and looked around to show its awesomeness to the boys but then he realized that he didn’t hear them anymore. He looked around the corner and then down the aisle he last saw them, but didn’t see any blonde boys.

“Dirk? Dave?” No answer. “Boys? Where are ya?” Still no answer. He started stalking down the aisles, looking for any and all niches that they could have hidden in but still no sign of them. “Striders, you have until the count of three to come out.” Usually the threat was enough, but he still didn’t get an answer. People were looking at him kinda sideways now. “One.” Bro started to feel his heart race. “Two.” What if they didn’t show up? Bro thought with horror. “Two and a half.” Shit, shit, shit. “Three!” Now everyone in the store was looking at him as he had practically shouted the final count. But there were still no kids. “Dave Strider! Dirk Strider! Come out now!” Bro ran to the front of the store where a clerk had paused his shirt folding to watch the event playing out. “Have you seen them? Two boys. Only this tall. Blonde. Funky sunglasses. Did they leave the store?”

The clerk flinched down a bit at Bro’s overbearing loudness but shook his head negative.

“Goddamn it. Where are they?” Bro roared as he turned away. Everyone was either looking at him or looking around their area. But no one was speaking up. Bro’s heart was racing now, blood pounding in his ears. Fear gripped him as scenarios flash in front of his mind’s eye, each worse than the last. It was the event in New York all over again.

His hand flew to his pocket, reaching for his phone to call Mom or D or someone who might be able to help him even if it was to tell him to calm the fuck down. But his hand only hits jeans. The familiar shape was gone. His pocket was empty. He didn’t have his phone. He didn’t have a connection. He didn’t have help. He was fucked.

Bro felt the sharp, cold dread constrict around his chest as panic spread through him. His fingers tingled and it hurt to breath.

“DAVE! DIRK!”

Everyone cringed down and now everyone, clerks and customers alike in the store were thrown into motion as the terrified rage they heard. They all felt the urgency to find the boys or face Bro’s wrath.

“Over here!” A woman in the back waved her hand and then screeched a little as Bro suddenly appeared in front of her, using his flashstepping. “In- In there.” She pointed to the changing room. Bro looked down the row of stalls and saw only one of the curtains closed at the very end. Another step and he was in front of the curtain. He ripped it back and had conflicting emotional responses. On one hand he was relieved, glad even, that there were two blonde boys sitting here, crouched together. They knew they were in deep trouble. They had that terrified, nervous giggle going on.

Which just enflamed the other emotion Bro was having. Anger. Rage at being scared over something so little, something that made him blow up. Hate at his fear. He wasn’t that angry at them. Of course they were the cause; they were the source of the fear. But they didn’t deserve all the rage building inside of him fighting with the desire to scoop the boys up in his arms and hug them tight and never let go.

Their giggling quieted as they watched with wide eyes Bro crouched as well at the entrance to the dressing room stall.

“You guys know you are in trouble.” They nodded. “Do you know why you are in trouble?”

“Because we played a prank.”

“Because we hid.”

“Because you didn’t come when I called. I was loud enough. You heard me. I know you did. Everyone in the freaking mall heard me. But you didn’t come to me so I thought you were lost. And what would I have done if you were lost?” Bro’s voice was getting louder as he talked, as the anger slipped past his control. “What if that nice woman hadn’t found you? What if I hadn’t found you? What if some creep had found you alone in the changing room! They could have taken you and hurt you and I wouldn’t have been able to help BECAUSE YOU RAN AWAY FROM ME!” Bro’s fists were balled against his thigh as he screamed down at the floor, trying to direct his feelings away from the boys. But it didn’t help much as the boy still started to cry. Bro felt terribly but damn, what if that had actually happened? He shook the thought from his head and pulled them against him because they were safe now. Upset, but safe.

“C’mon, you numbnuts. We’ll talk about this more at home.”

He lifted both of them up as he stood. They wrapped their legs around his waist and kept their faces buried into his shirt. The store went silent again as he walked out, being stopped at the door when one of the clerks handed him the bags from his previous purchases that he must have dropped at some point in his panic. He murmured his thanks and his apologies to the scene he must have caused and he got a sympathetic nod in return.

He made a straight line for the car, ignoring all of the looks he got for carrying the crying kids. They were still snotty nosed and red eyed as he belted them into their seats. He turned off the music and let silence and sniffles fill the car. It was definitely a different feel from the drive to the mall. He nearly marched them from the car, up the stairs, to the apartment, keeping them always in front of him. He pushed them first through the door before closing it behind him and then tossing the bags to the side.

“Wel-”

“D!” twin voiced shouted.

Bro looked up and saw both boys barrelling towards the eldest Strider as he came out of the bathroom.

“Hey guys. What’s... are you guys crying?”

Bro rolled his eyes as he heard the boys start up sniffling again.

“Bro yelled at us!”

“We were at the mall!”

“We were just playing!”

“And he yelled at us!”

“Really loudly!”

“Like a big bag wolf!”

“Yeah! Big bad!”

“Big bad? Bro?” D knelt down to their level. “And he yelled at you guys at the mall? Like in public?”

“In front of everybody.”

“It was scary.”

“Why did Bro yell at you?”

“We were just playing!” they answered together. “Made us cry!” They dived against D’s arms and took up their sobbing again.

“Bro?” D looked up at Bro who was standing there quietly fuming. “Did you yell at them?”

“I did.” Bro didn’t trust the steadiness of his voice yet but he was internally working on it.

“Because they were playing?”

“No.”

“Then what happened? Because these boys are pretty upset with you.”

“And I’m pretty upset with them. They decided to play a game of hide and seek without telling me they were playing on hard mode. They hid in the changing room and didn’t come out when I called. Didn’t come out when I counted down. Didn’t come out so I had to hunt them down. Scared me half to death. Found them finally in the changing room and yes, I raised my voice. I yelled at them because I was scared. It was New York all over again.” He ended with a slump of his shoulders.

“Oh.” D frowned and thought about it for a bit silently. The kids were back to sniffling instead of crying. Then D made sure to make eye contact with Bro as he firmly said, “You are okay.”

Then D pushed the boys back a little so he could look into their red faces. “Guys, Bro might sound like the the big bad wolf sometimes but that’s because he loves you. He wasn’t yelling at you because he was that angry at you. He was yelling because he was scared. You guys really scared him. You guys cry after a nightmare, right? Well, Bro doesn’t cry; he just gets loud. So when you guys hid and he couldn’t find you, he got scared and had to yell. So he’s not really mad at you guys.” Both boys brightened up. “But, you guys are still in trouble. Big trouble. You know better than to hide like that especially in a mall. And you know better than not so listen to a count down. I’m disappointed.” Both chins started quivering and their bottom lips curled down. “Yeah, yeah, sad faces. I know you know better. So in addition to big bad Bro yelling at you, we are also going to ground you. No television for a week. Not even Saturday morning. You guys will have to play with other things.”

“Gameboy?” Dirk asked tentatively.

D looked up at Bro who nodded grudgingly. “Yes, you guys can play gameboy. But limited play. Nothing after dinner.”

“Okay, D,” the boys agreed together.

“Alright, go to your room while I talk with Bro.”

“Okay, D.” The boys dashed off behind D down the hall to their room, closing the door behind them. D could almost see them with their ears pressed to the door.

D climbed to his feet and went directly to Bro, wrapping his long arms around his broad shoulders. Bro seemed to slump down farther in his embrace. D shuffled him over to the futon and made them sit down together before pulling Bro’s head to his chest.

“It’s okay, Bro. It’s okay.”

“I lost my phone.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t in my pocket. I couldn’t find them and I couldn’t call you or Mom and yeah. I overreacted.”

“Yeah. A bit.”

“I’m okay.”

“Yes.”

“I think it was stolen.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I’ll go back tomorrow. Look in lost and found. And buy a t-shirt I liked.”

“A good t-shirt?”

“An ironic t-shirt. Literally. It was perfect.” He leaned against D a bit harder. “Li’l shits.”

“You know that nickname will stay for a while?”

“What?”

“Big Bad Bro.”

“I think... I think I’m okay with that.”

**Author's Note:**

> For more information please check out our work at striderclan.tumblr.com; we have more stories, head canons, art/pictures.


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